Hi I'm Melody
18 this year, coming 19. ((:
I'm a Virgo. ((:
I'm born on 4th September
And I wanna be a vet
Birthstone Sapphire. ((:
And morning glory.
speak.your.FREEDOM
I love to express myself. I love dancing.
I love singing. I love animals.
I love modeling. I love reading!
I love French people. I love the language Spanish
I love my piano. I love my 200 dollars racket.
I love my crazy family. I love my dearest friends.
I love him, Jesus. I love witting love poems.
I love the warmth in making people smile.
I love people who love me. HAHA.
I love people who are true to their hearts.
three years of sad confinement
my life is finally falling into alignment
i run out of the cage to greet the sun
and to my new home i will run
fall to the soft grass and heck care to the world
this long awaited life will unfurl
close my eyes and smile so deeply
with the wind blowing so swiftly
a gentle feeling;
yet such twist
the scent of freedom
it does exist...
I got a strong feeling he's gonna be okay tonight. ((: Go for it, alright? ((: Don't ever give up okay?? ((: Work your balls out tomorrow. ((: HAHA. You're gonna do it. Cause firstly you're a dope dancer. ((: And because, Secondly, I'd be right behind you. ((: That's why. ((:
Hey peeps--- I'm feeling A LOT happier already actually. ((: I swear luh. It's the lack of communication with outside people. HAHAHAHA. ((: I might wanna go club with kor kor tonight. Either that, or I'm heading to Sc's house to drink. Or my neighbor's house to watch movies. ((: Or I may go find Gary. If THE bitch is free. ((: HAHA.
Either one's good. Sunset with kor kor tml. ((: And catwalk lessons. ((: And dinner with family. ((: Sessioned with Hakeem, Nicole and Fas today. ((: HAHAHAS. I tried a handstand. Thanks Hakeem for all the encouragements. Finally got it. For 1 sec? HAHA. Tragic me. )): So now, more blue blacks. )):
Did one modern flip~!!!! Cool shit. Why do I get a feeling I'm gonna enjoy modern more than hiphop? Because it's more graceful? HAHAS. ((: Yes. I'm crossing over this year. ((: And I'm taking up belly dance with Serene soon. Freaking hot. ((: HAHAHAHA. =X Lols.
Btw, I miss Jonas. Freaking random. I know. )): But I do.
Baby's Zorro's not coming this week. He's sick. Gotta stay at the pet's store for a bit more. )): Awww. )): But also good. Can go support KO night. HAHA. Reggae classes this Sat. ((:
And more blog shop discussion with xinyi on Sunday. ((:
Hi, I need to session. Can anyone call me when they wanna session PLEASE? I really wanna learn. ((: Gen, hugs* Take care okay?? )): Please please please please. Take care of yourself babe. Understand? Need me get anything for you in the middle of night or what. Please just msg me or what. But I know you won't. Ahh. I wish I could help you more. I;d pray. I'd really pray for you. I love you.
Looks like, I got myself back Melody.
define.FREEDOM
you set me free. 8:56 AM
Wolverine. Is a dope show. Love it to bits. ((:
Headed down to Justis' class. And I feel like vomiting. Yes. That's how stress I am when doing chero. HAHA. Cannot must breakthrough. ((: Even for cheors. ((:
MY ALIGNMENT AH. sighs. )):
Oh no. And I know its up somewhere on Fb. And I screwed up. -.- HAHA. I hope it doesn't come back and haunt me or something. LOLS.
And I can't get my freestyle right yest too. )): Gotta get it back. And I'm getting tired of my songs. LOLS. Time to switch songgss. ((:
I got nothing on today. ((: I'm becoming an introvert. Cause daddy won let me go online at night. AND. My phone isn't working. How to contact people after school? And he expects me to be home at 10 every night.
What to do?? -.- Honestly, I think he's killing my life. I haven't talk to people besides serene for like 4 days already. But no point blaming him I guess. If he wants it that way, just gotta play by his dumb ass freaking shity ass-ed up rules. (Oh yes, I am pisssed) And still have time and means to communicate with my friends. Without the bloody phone and the bloody com at night.
Just gimmie a few days. will get to it. Got no energy to do anything these days.
Photo shoots are cut off for me too. )): I no time or no slots. Can't find the right time for both..
And plus on top of everything. My personality's changing. I feel I dunnoe how to talk to people already. -.-
I'm not dead peeps. HAHA. don't worry. Just feeling a bit loser-ish.
I might not be blogging for few days. ((: Nothing much to say anyways. Unless you wanna hear my emo crap. ((:
I got a feeling he's gonna be okay tonight. ((:
Finding myself back, melody
define.FREEDOM
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
you set me free. 9:46 AM
I decided to pamper myself again. HAHA. So I went shopping. ((: Hey. It's important to feel loved okayy??
Stuff I got this week: -2 new dresses. - 2 shorts. -2 speg tops. ((: - CUTE sweat pants with Christmas-y trees prints all over.
Yeahs~!!! Omg. My style of Hiphop. ((: HAHAHA. whatever. ((:
Catwalk lessons got pushed back to Friday. Lols. Ah wells. And kor kor's gonna club on Thurs again. Should I go? Lols. Ah wells. Going out with him on Friday too. ((:
And omg. Seee. DOPE righhttt?? mp3. *screams* I really really do want one.. )):
Now that he's okay. ((: I'm really happy. But really heartbroken too. /:
Carrie Underwood--I just can't live a lie
Oh, I know I could say we're through And tell myself I'm over you But even if I made a vow A promise not to miss you now And try to hide the truth inside I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie.
I'm a goner, What the heck are you doing, girl? I just don't know anymore.
Understand girl, there's nothing wrong to love. And no limitation to when it is the right time to end. It's supposed to be natural. That's why it's love. But it's bad when you're emo-ing and affecting your mood. So if you choose to stay and see him through. Don't emo. ((: Okay? Stay happy and love.
Dead and gone ---Melody
define.FREEDOM
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
you set me free. 11:45 AM
Tee hee hee. I sprained my ankle. HAHA. While sitting in a cab. HAHA. And. I sprained the joint that connects the butt and thigh. While sitting down at smu yest. LOLS. But it's not serious luh. Duh.
Main point is... )))))))))))))))))))))))))): I'm still clumsyy. )): lols. And I'm made up of tooth picks. )): LOLS. But hey, I don't look clumsy anymore okayy?? HAHA. It's a starttt~!!! ((:
New loves~!!! Food: Chili crab cup noodles. ((: Its the only thing that saves me from starving at night. Clothes: Speg tops. ((: Yeahhss~!!! I got a new fetish for rings. Toe rings too I don't know why. Just keep buying. LOLS. And Zorro's fault. I keep buying puppy toys and snacks too. -.- LOLS.
HAHA. I was reading on dogs. The eyeball can be popped out easily through trauma to the head but not just by being startled. wth right? If Zorro's eyes pop out. I'd die. Lols.
((: I wanna paint my room soon. LOLS. Yes. I'm gonna do it myself okayy?? ((: ((: And set up the whole room myself. Unless it involves hammering and all. LOLS.
I'd wrap up my reflection day today. ((: Maybe I'd post it later. See how??
Btw, my sip got deffered.
And I need to find new things to do. Maybe fishing. LOLS. Need to relax and stuff.
Melody
define.FREEDOM
Monday, April 27, 2009
you set me free. 11:04 PM
Enough okay??
Doesn't mean I joke with you the next day and pretend it didn't happen means its okay. And yes, I was patient enough not to yell at you at all despite you hitting me again.
Just shows how much I love you okay? I'm really really patient. But don't toy with me. I swear. Cause when I explode. I really do.
Cause I'm so freaking pissed already. Cause I've been really patient. I really am.
Cause you don't know how much it takes just to stand there and being hit repeatedly, without a word, for something in which you didn't really deserve and have to say sorry after that. Trust me. You don't know what it takes. And it has been more than a year now okay?
3 hour break. rushed back home. take dance gear, Rushed down to piano. ((: Cause my teacher's flying off tml. And can't make it for this Sunday's class.
Rushed back to school for lecture. HAHA. den straight off to Smu. to session with serene, eulene, jas oon, jesscy, fas, binghui.
And I'm doing tut now. *smiles* ((: Lols. I'm gonna ace my this round subjects. ((: And I was on time for lecture at 9. Wee. HAHA. And don't worry. I'm not skipping classes. ((:
It's hard. But I'm really trying to fit everything in.
-responsibility. -and even more emotional control.
learn them. ((:
*Smiles* Yes. I know. ((: And cause I know he's gonna be okay tonight. ((: It's gonna be enough reason for me to smile in my sleep tonight.
Meaningful day I guess, Melody.
define.FREEDOM
Sunday, April 26, 2009
you set me free. 9:41 PM
Monday. Session with Serene. Tuesday. Modeling catwalk lessons. Wednesday. Dance lesson & Look for supplier with Xinyi. Thursday. I wanna go spa and facial. Pamper myself day. ((: Friday. Photo Shoot Sat. Zorro coming in, buy Zorro's stuff. Sunday. Family day.
It's my life. If I don't take control of it. No one will.
Melody
define.FREEDOM
you set me free. 1:17 PM
I came home at 12. And locked myself in the room and dance. Till 1, My dad thought I came home at 1.
So he hit me.
3 times using a freaking towel which caused blue black. That was how hard it was okay? The last time he was aiming on my face. Well. I covered myself. Hit my arm.
Den he took a chair and threw at me. twice. 1st one hit my hip. The 2nd he was aiming for my face. Well, it hit my shoulder. Cause I protected my head.
Den he pushed me to the ground and kicked me twice. Which casue another blue black on my shin.
And I hit my spine. I can't walk properly. Rather my tailbone hurts. But I didn't tell them. I don't want them to worry.
I didn't cry, or shed a tear. I think I'm being insane again. I didn't call anyone. Or anything.
Lols. I'm okay. Don't worry.
Daddy. Please don't it or hurt me again. How do I let you know I love you so so very much. Despite everything, I do love you, Please don't hit me again. )):
Gosh, I love you daddy. Don't hurt me. I really do. so so much.
Gotta plan my time properly. Cause baby Zorro's coming in soon. And I plan to go dance classes. model. And continue my piano and study. And have friends.
It's retarded. It's gonna get really really really really busy.
Gotta by concession to. Cause I'd be traveling a lot. I end at 4 everyday. I plan to come back and play with Zorro. And at night go for my own activities. Den come back play more with Zorro, And study. Cause he's a puppy. I don't want him to feel neglected.
I will die. I think I will really die.
I was aiming to get back myself. But I think I've outgrown it. As in I'm even more than what I was two years ago. More matured. Stronger. More confident. More able to manage my life. And somehow, kinder too.
And I want you to be okay. No matter what you choose. Just be okay, alright? And I promise, If you're not, I got your back. ((: Jia you.
Breakthroughs, Please come. Melody.
define.FREEDOM
Saturday, April 25, 2009
you set me free. 12:37 PM
More photos for CCA recruitment. Lols. It's coming in one by one. Irrittaing.
Garage battle later. Jia you peeps. ((: Will be cheering on for you guys. ((:
*screams* SO SILLY~~~~~~!!!!!
I hope this makes you feel less pain, Yes, I love you. And I thought you will never want to hear it again. So I kept it away for months now. And it doesn't matter if you choose to leave or not. Cause love isn't like that. Doesn't matter who loves 1st or makes the move 1st or wants 1st or cares 1st expresses 1st or even leaves 1st. Yah, I made a mistake, Lols. My previous mistake. And I am WOMAN enough at admit it here. ((: Lols. Realise? Whenever you emo like that, I'd always come back. Cause I care. You dummy.
It's just me, Melody.
define.FREEDOM
you set me free. 12:00 AM
Off to clubb. ((:
BYES
define.FREEDOM
Friday, April 24, 2009
you set me free. 1:09 PM
Told you my day will be good today. ((: It's always like that. Weird cycle.
HAHAS. I danced till 5 am yest. Think cause of the pent up emotions. I got breakthrough. ((:
SO cool rigghhhttt?? Ahhhh~~!!! HAHAHAS. I feel so happy now. ((: LOLS. But I think time to open up. Breakthrough with oneself is. Different when others is around. ((:
And at Colin's. Learnt catwalks. So freaking cool. ((: We catwalk down orchard roaddd! And And And.. the dope thing is. HE wore heels. and did it with me. DOPE righttt?? I feel so unwoman-ly. LOLS. HAHAHAHA. Lols. It's not perfect yet. But I'd do something about it. I think he's gonna put me in a runway show soon. Freaking excited. (((: *squeals*
Colin, thanks for being a mentor, friend, manager, encouragement, giving me so many opportunities. Without you. I don't know where I'd be. ((:
DuDuDu~~!!! Meet Serene. ((: Go somewhere with her. Tpde wheel borrow thing tonight. And clubbinnggg tonight with Kor~!!!! LOLS. ((:
I hope I don't die. LOLS. So tiring.
Hmms, take care of yourself okay?? You'd be okay. I know you will be. ((: Stay strong. And anything, Just gimmie a ring. ((:
Signing off, ---Melody
define.FREEDOM
Thursday, April 23, 2009
you set me free. 9:17 AM
I am freaking disappointed with myself. Tut is at 9.00am. I woke up at 9.15am.
So mc-ing on the 1st week of school. What the hell.
Well done girl. Seriously. Well done.
No more repeats. If not I'd kill myself.
Is peace really that hard? ))): I guesss I'm living in my own bubble.
People are made to be loved. And things are made to be used. The only reason why the world is in chaos now is because, People are being used. And things are being loved.
Screwed up my commercial interview too. Guess when you feel like crap. Everything you do will be crap.
Headed down to find Serene, Jas and Carmen. ((: Had fun. ((: Which made my day better. ((:
And my dad wants me to sleep at 10.30 everyday. Wth. HELLO? My life just started at 10.30. I think I'm gonna start feeling very empty-ish.
Matters to me. That today went badly.
But no matter. Tml will be a better day. ((: Make it a good start. ((:
Keep your smile going, Melody.
define.FREEDOM
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
you set me free. 9:12 PM
Hi peeps!
I'm home early. LOL. To mug. ((: HAHA, I plan to ace my subs man. ((:
And I had a hell of a time today. ((: Luring Jas away from booth. The look on Jas face when she saw the cake was rewarding enough. The warmth I felt when she hugged me after. And all. How we four went away. Just the four of us to open present. Smiles. Laughter. Photos.
I love you all. All of you. ((: Kukupenguin. unpicked pickle. aunty. ((: More photos up soon~!!! ((:
Met Gary dumb ass TWICE. What luck man. HAHA. Passsed him his present. ((: I know.. You stalking me rightt?? HAHAHA. Hope you like it boy. ((: Loves you. ((:
Today is Wed. I'm ready for commercial interview tml. ((: I'd seal this deal. ((: I know I can. More training for modeling o Fri morning. What is it again Colin? Catwalk. Becasue??
I walk like duck. Ahh. He's just so mean. But I guess it's true. HAHA.
I feel loved. ((:
Yours truly, Melody.
define.FREEDOM
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
you set me free. 11:39 PM
HAHAHAHHAS. Gary sent me this video of him. Which made me laugh my ass off at him. HAHAHHAHAHAHHAS. really. Omg.
He's a trainee pilot see. So they dared him to sit on this paper airplane at tamp 1. HAHAHAHAHAHAS.
Bitch luh he. Happy birthday boy. ((: Loves you bitch.
Have fun. ((:
And even if you don't grow tall I buy platform shoes for you. I'm such a considerate friend no? ((: Say thank you pretty girl. ((:
From a distance the world looks blue and green, And the snow-capped mountains white. From a distance the ocean meets the stream, And the eagle takes to flight.
From a distance, there is harmony, And it echoes through the land. Its the voice of hope, its the voice of peace, Its the voice of every man.
From a distance we all have enough, And no one is in need. And there are no guns, no bombs, and no disease, No hungry mouths to feed.
From a distance we are instruments Marching in a common band. Playing songs of hope, playing songs of peace. Theyre the songs of every man.
God is watching us. God is watching us. God is watching us from a distance.
From a distance you look like my friend, Even though we are at war. From a distance I just cannot comprehend What all this fighting is for.
From a distance there is harmony, And it echoes through the land. And its the hope of hopes, its the love of loves, Its the heart of every man.
Its the hope of hopes, its the love of loves. This is the song of every man. And God is watching us, God is watching us, God is watching us from a distance. Oh, God is watching us, God is watching. God is watching us from a distance.
Hope is important. <3 And I feel peace is important too. ((:
Lols. Too bad if you guys don't like oldies. =p HAHA.
I love you Jesus. I love you Xinyi. I love you Lianghao I love you Sc. I love you Gen. I love you Hongyu. I love you BITCH Gary. I love you Jas. I love you Serene. I love you Fion.
It's just me I guess. ((: I'm falling in love with myself again. ((:
Melody <3
define.FREEDOM
Monday, April 20, 2009
you set me free. 10:45 PM
Hi peeps. ((: Woots~!!!! ((: Today was really busy.
Colin was bugging me to come down to his place today. LOLS. Seriously. I said I wasn't free. Den he was like. Just an hour luh. RAWRRR~~!!!! And he refused to hang up till I say yes. Idoit. =X HAHAHAHHAHAS. Omg. Jkjk.
Turns out they're gonna push me for a commercial. And I feel like puking whenever I think about it. I don't think I'm ready. Honestly. I'm far from ready. I wanna die from stress. The interview is on Thursday. At 3pm.
But I will be on Thursday. I will be. I promise myself.
I don't feel too good at all about this.
Headed down to Tampines. Bought myself a nice tube. Bunch of fake lashes for the commercial. A hairband. Ring. A good old book. ((: And a cute little toy for baby Zorro. ((:
Went to school did formation for dance. Well it was a 10 min thing. LOLS. Btw, time to expand. But I dunnoe where to expand in dance. Like. Who can help me and all.
Ran into my ex. On the bus. Why do people always assume I'm attached? HAHA. We exchanged contacts again. After how many years? 5 years. Cause, I lost contact with him.
Met my pals. ((: Decided to head to my home for pizza and movies with them. ((: I decided I won't say anything, But I realised I missed them a lot. All the stupid jests and.. ((: Puns. Dirty jokes. HAHHAHAHAS. I miss all of them ((:
And thanks Gen I really do appreciate it. I feel she's slowly breaking into my wall. She's really means a lot to me now. She's becoming someone I can't disappoint. Or at least will by all means not to.
I'm the kind. Where its hard to break in. But once you do. You'd always be in my heart.
Thanks Gen. You showed me a lot. These few months. My mentor, My friend and My sis. ((: well kind of. ((:
Cause I'm just me now. ((:
Melody. ((:
define.FREEDOM
you set me free. 1:23 AM
Hey peeps. This little bugger here is Zorro. Cause of the brown patch on both his eyes.
He pees everywhere. He poos everywhere. He bites on paper. He nearly jumped off a table.
All these in pets safari. In that short 1 hour?
And he's coming home with me on 2nd May~!!! *squeals* After his 2nd vaccination.
He's really tiny. Only 2 months old. ((: He's my 1380 dollars baby. (: Mad huh? Loves him to bits.
Zorro is a huge commitment. He's still a puppy. He's gonna need a lot of attention. I feel stressed over him. There's so many things I don't know and all. And yes. He's my responsibility. My name is there. Not my dad's or mum or my bro's It's Mine. And I'm supporting him off my own money. Cause daddy says he thinks I'm ready. So he's gonna push me to do it. And I'd be extremely disappointed with myself if I can't manage my life properly and all the feeding bathing and everything go to my maid or someone else.
My priority is him. He's still a puppy. Maybe after he grows bigger. I'd have more time. ((:
I don't mind anyone coming to play with him. ((: Just gimmie a ring. ((:
Hmms. Good news? I realise vets do earn a lot after they get their own clinics. A LOT. Consultation is at least 100 bucks. And some vaccinations can cost up to 1000 bucks one shot.
I guess that answers my only worry.
So. I guess I'm more or less going for it.
I have so many commitments now. I actually do feel damn stressed even before school reopens.
-Friends. -Family. -Zorro coming in. -Dance. -Studies. -Modeling. -Piano.
And I still intend to take up a part time job as a vet asst. Cause it's gonna help in my application to uni next time. And modeling dance and piano is loves. Ahhhh~~~ Screams***
And thats not all. I still wanna do French. RAWR~!!! But I guess French has to wait.
Yes. I can do it. Go Huijing. ((: I won't drop anything. No I won't.
Yah I got close to God last night. And tears rolled down from my cheeks.. Cause I felt it. It not only came on strong. It moved me. Overwhelmed me. Suddenly. It just hit me. As I was praying. Just SMACK. Like that. And I could never be more sure. That it was him.
Cause I felt the holy spirit and everything.
Questions about life and him became answered. The question about about destiny. The question about reaching for your own happiness. The balance between both and. Everything.
Den he just hit me with this ans. Just leave it. Don't forget. Don't pursue. Don't try to figure out. Cause it'll be damn painful. From who it is from? Why? This and that. Cause the ans will never come. ((: Just pray once and trust and forget about it. He'd do something about it. ((: Cause if you keep praying about it. Just means you don't trust. ((: Cause if it happens, it happens. ((:
Cause. No matter what decision you make. There'd be a path for you. Just a different one. ((: There's no right or wrong path. Just a path.
((: Dope. I feel so light hearted now. ((:
I woke up cause of my terrible freestyle yest. And I couldn't stand it. HAHAHAHAHAS.
define.FREEDOM
Friday, April 17, 2009
you set me free. 2:20 PM
I realize what day today is.
And suddenly I don't feel too good at all. Suddenly I feel tears again.
Olympiad. Jam and Hop. Cyhpher. Circle.
Memories.2 years ago.
I don't feel too good now. I swear.
No it will not affect my performance later. I will not allow that.
It will not.
Got to pull myself together. There are bigger things happening here.
Stop the freaking tears please.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Performance itself was good.
Jonas™ says: wutttttttttt you dont suck the only thing that sucks tody today is the music -.- i cant even bounce to it
.xX l Huijingl ll Xx *uck.I suddenly realised. says: Aww hugs I feel so sucky about myself. )):
Jonas™ says: i was thinking about that too then when i went studio to freestyle then i realised it's the music
Thank you. I wouldn't have survived without your encouragement. ((: And Gary for the dumb suan-ing and jests. I haven't had that in a long time. HAHA.
I'd continue to work hard. Cause I know I'd always let the music take control of me. I'd get too high. LOLS. Den I'd do freaking 200000 waves in a beat. HAHAHHAS. I've seen myself do it. ((: Just gotta keep calm.
The pain is killing me. Someone save me please?
)))))))))))))))))):
Oh God.
define.FREEDOM
Thursday, April 16, 2009
you set me free. 1:27 PM
*coughhss* I'm sicccckkk. )))): BOO.
HAHA. Duh. Serves me right for drinking Serene's water And eating chilli crab cup noodles in the middle of the night. (((: LOLS. ((: Muahahahhahahas.
I woke up at like 5 with like. Mosquitos swarming and attacking me. HAHAHHAHAHAHA. what a way to put it but yah. ((: LOLS. ((:
I'm not excited. About the performance. I don't know why. And since they're easy steps. I'd train on showmanship this round.
I'm more excited about the jam and hop. I'm more excited about freestyling later. =XXXX
But I'd do my best. I'd prove you wrong. I really will.
I realize. I don't really care what other people say?? But what keeps me from moving forward. Is the fact that I don't really believe in myself yet. It's a personal thing. Lols.
I can't change the tide. Nor can I change the direction of the wind. But I can choose to say. All the best. And take care of yourself. And anything, I'd be here. Watching your back. ((:
Melody. Cause I'm just me.
define.FREEDOM
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
you set me free. 11:53 PM
How does it feel like screwing up today? Huh?
- 21 bucks on cab cause you were late. - Having low self confidence. - And being all panicky AGAIN.
How does it feel like? Saying oh shit I can't do it. 500 million times. And giving the freaking face. And have everyone staring at you. And go what the hell is wrong with her.
How does it feel like?
Cause that's you right? You change. For 4 days and drop back again. Early for 4 days and 5th day. You drop back again.
And emotional control? No more repeats of last night. If not I'd just take my belt and hang you by the neck. I so freaking swear.
Just grow up already, girl. Just freaking grow up okay?
I'm suffering from inferiority complex these days. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.
Come back huijing. Don't be stupid anymore.
So met Serene. And yes I was late. And thus 15 bucks gone. Cabbing.
Taken was a good show. Really should go and watch. ((:
Sessioning was fun? ((: I learn a lot. Both practical and theory. ((: Just by sitting there listening and all.
Can't say much about letting go. Cause I expected myself to freeze and be unable to do anything. But I didn't. So fine.
But I do know what to work on already.
I can't thank you guys enough. Cause I had fun. ((: Thanks. ((: And I'm sorry for squealing a million times. I's just keep quiet next time.
Cause I really do have really high expectations of myself. But yet I know I'm so far away. In everything. Character and all.
Go me. Don't give up.
I'm okay. Just pissed with myself.
And Serene and Gen. I love you. Tuck loads. Thanks for today.
define.FREEDOM
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
you set me free. 10:46 PM
Smiles* Yeah I did it~!! I did it~!! ((:
But I think I can do better. Go me. ((: Expand. ((:
More habits to kick: - Clumsiness (FAIL) - Lateness (Almost) - NO pinching of pimples. - Being lazy. My pianooo.
Shopping trip. In Malaysia with Serene. At the end of the week~!!! Anyone wants to come? ((:
And I finished designing my room. It's romantic. ((: Deep red. Nice brown curtains. Which will set the whole room pitch dark. Sofa. Coffee table with candle holders.
I plan to cook for my future bf. ((: Steakkk~!!!! Yummy. ((: And light candles only. I think it's really pretty. Nice slow music. ((:
Perfect. ((:
Photo shoot's canceled tml. Boo. Apparently 2 photographers cannot make it. I think Colin's gonna expand more photographers for me. I don't really wanna talk about it. Darn stressed.
But I'd be ready for it. I know he believes in me a lot. And I wont let him down.
Ah wells. More time for session then. ((: LOLS. ((: Session tml again. Muahahahahahas. ((:
define.FREEDOM
you set me free. 1:09 PM
I'm suffering from insomnia. Rolled in bed for 3 hours. Gave up.
Stood in front of the fridge and dance. Don't ask me whyy. I was getting water I think. Hit my hand. -.- Sang for an hour. Did my mask. Fell asleep on the couch.
Session at 2. Zzz. Yeahs. ((:
I miss my best friend. Meet up soon okay But we're all busy people. RAWR. )):
It's not for me anymore.
define.FREEDOM
Monday, April 13, 2009
you set me free. 11:17 PM
Failure to break through.
I hate myself.
I danced. Freestyle till I couldn't feel a thing anymore.
But I got tired. Then's when break though will come right? After this. It will come.
Den my dad ask me to go to bed. -.-
Ughhh. Darn. )):
Tml.
Photo shoot on Wed.
I can be better than this. I know.
Rb. ((: Cheer up. ((:
define.FREEDOM
you set me free. 10:25 AM
Woke up at 8. Zzz.
Went down for a jog. ((:
Went over to her place after.
And she's doing fine. She made her own breakfast. ((: And I joined her. ((:
Smiles* That's great. ((:
Got practice later. Zzz. But going to school at 12? Help Carmen do up the noticeboard. ((:
Zzz. Sleepy day.
If it's one thing I won't change back. Into a player.
I can feel your joy. And it's like no other. I'm really happy for you. :D Keep smiling. Cause that's how I want to see you. Always smiling.
:DDDDDDDDD
And anything I'm right behind you. ((:
define.FREEDOM
Sunday, April 12, 2009
you set me free. 12:06 AM
I met my neighbor on the way back.
She just had cancer. She just came from the doctor.
I don't know how to describe how I felt.
I did whatever I could for her. Cleaned up her house. Cooked for her. And talked to her. Watched Tv with her.
Basically just accompany her. And have fun with her.
I dunnoe how I felt. After everything. A whirl of emotions? I'd go back and help her again in a few days time. She's living alone.
I don't know. Why I get myself attached to people. Who freaking will hurt me. I hate myself at times. I don't want to get hurt. I really don't. But I really don't think I can sit there and just watch.
F*** luh. I do hate myself. I really do. Urghhhhh.
Amazing. Last year Esther service. I never did cry. ((: This year. It was really streaming down. I couldn't stop. One bit.
I love Jesus I really do. Nothing can describe my love for him. And what he's given up for me.
Kor. Come back soon. And watch sunset with me okay? Hugs*
Journey to rediscover oneself?
Done.
I'm pretty much back. <3
define.FREEDOM
Saturday, April 11, 2009
you set me free. 9:11 PM
Melody's boobies are gonna disappear if her appetite doesn't come back soon.
Wait what boobies?
)))))))))))))))):
Ah wells. ((: Photo shoot was great. But I had to plod around in a 5 and a half inch heels. And I fell. )): LOLS. ((:
I bet no one knows I'm a Kim Gary fan? And Edison Chen fan?
((: Yeahs. ((:
define.FREEDOM
you set me free. 9:59 AM
These few days? Havoc. HAHA. ((:
But I'm loving it.
HAHHAHAAS. ((: I'm having pms. SO I few into a rage and...
Started cleaning the whole house. :D hees. HAHAHAHHAS. I know. And I'd pound anyone who messes it up. LOLS.
I'm being serious. ((:
Friday was spent running around to different places. Went Tamp 1 with my parents. And shopped a lot. ((: Yeahs. ((: HAHAHAS. ((:
After that went to my mum's friend's house warming. And realized I got some contacts. In the finance industry. I guess this path is really secure for me now. Just whether I want to take it up or not.
Dinner with Tpde is okay. ((: Catching up. At east coast. ((: Mas. But yah. Lols. ((:
Today. I got a photoshoot in an hour. And I'm still home. I'm dead luh. HAHAS. I'd probably cab down Hmms. ((:
define.FREEDOM
Thursday, April 9, 2009
you set me free. 4:13 PM
Smiles* drinks everyone. ((: Yeahss. ((: HAHA. Went over to Sc's place. ((: Dope. Drank a little. ((: HAHAHAHHAS. Watched this really good. firm from Hk. ((:
HAHAS. Sushi~~!! was paid by like Xinyi. Sc and I shared the pizza. ((: Lianghao bought snacks. In which we all counldn't finish. ((: There was a lot left man. )): BOO. Lols.
Came home. Saw Raoul Issac, his bro. James. Pumar downstairs. Drinking. Drank a little bit more. HAHAHHAS. ((: I'm serious. It was only like sips. I promise. Crashed at Raoul's house. Watched slum dog millionaire. AGAIN. Till like 5am.
Accidentally fell asleep there. HAHA. ((: Crawled back to my bed at 5. Zzzz. HAHA.
It's nice having happening neighbors. ((: Once in awhile. I'd go wild. ((:
I decided to keep a diary instead. ((:
Chero 2 8s by tml. Zzz
Once you're doing well. Like now. I shall disappear. Shall watch you from afar. But yet keep you safe and warm. Whenever required.
Melodyy.
define.FREEDOM
Monday, April 6, 2009
you set me free. 12:11 PM
No. I don't need my future bf to take care of me. Nor do i need a lot of love anymore.
I need to be able to take care of myself. The space to be able to take care of myself. Unless I really fall flat. I'm afraid of not having enough strength to take care of myself.
Ironically. Dependence is what I'm afraid of now.
Amazing how much I learnt. And how much I've changed. Internally.
The amount of things I'm keeping inside. I'm amazed with myself.
Which means good I guess. Means I'm coming back. ((:
define.FREEDOM
Sunday, April 5, 2009
you set me free. 10:17 PM
Spend some quality time with my family today. Really miss them loads even though I see them almost everyday. ((:
And ta daaa~~!!! 12 rounds. ((: Boring movie. Zzz.
Smiles* I'm still over the moon.
Hmm. Wonder what I shall do tml. ((:
define.FREEDOM
you set me free. 1:12 AM
I'm loving every min of it. I swear. I'm loving it. ((:
It's becoming bigger and bigger part of my life.
AHHHHH~~!!! Hugs lianghao. Thanks dear for the sms. It meant the whole world to me. <3 It really did. ((: Thanks to all who remembered. <3 Loves.
And even as I'm massaging my own sore butt. (: Sore arms. Back. And Thighs. I know every thing is just worth it. ((:
I know the empty-ish feeling's gonna set in real soon. But hey, I can finally do the things I want. ((:
Next battle. KO night. ((: I'm married to my love. Dance.
Because. I know. It might not be for me anymore. But I'd still be here. ((:
define.FREEDOM
Saturday, April 4, 2009
you set me free. 12:26 AM
Today. I fell in love with the stage. Today. I felt it. For the 1st time. I was up there. I wasn't nervous. I didn't. Lose my footing. Lose my balance. I laughed. I played. I enjoyed.
I miss him so much luh. ((:
Us all. ((:
Today. I made a lot of friends. Got a lot of encouragement. Found out who believed in me. Received loads of hugs. Words of encouragement. And I'm really grateful to them. Because. I really was shaking. Badly.
I never want today to end It was the best feeling ever when we bowed. Indescribable. I cried. All the hard work. All the pain. I really felt it.
My parents are coming tml. I'm gonna make them proud.
When Gen hugged me. Said she was really proud of me. I don't know I can't describe it. I love her loads. I'd never be who I am without her. Really.
TauHuay Choreographer. Dopeshit. HUGS**
For the random supports. ((: Encouraging smses. Thank you. Inside. I'm really grateful.
HUGS* ((: She never fails to make me laugh. ((:
His dummy reactions fails to make me laugh too. ((: HAHA. ((:
My 1st friend in Tp. Omg. Dope. I'd love you always. she's seen me through everything. ((: Hugs* And I will too. Always and forever.
Ko night partner. Dope girl. Loves her to bits. ((: Keep improving girl. ((: Loves. We'd rock the battle floor. ((:
This dear. Always reassures me. ((: Hugs* thanks girl.
Last but not least. This clique of friends. Who see me cry almost everyday. ((: HAHAHAHHAS. ((: I love you guys loads. We're not perfect. And there are times we get really pissed off at each other. ((: HAHA. ((: But we're always there for one another when shit comes. And That's what's most important. ((: That we're here for one another.
Thanks for walking through this journey with me. You ALL. made it so much more meaningful. <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdNDjsP6NRXT91YmwU6OjiQU9_D7QiBPKnsbaZVVTVEspNXi6RtBEZJLhhyphenhyphenTqFpKaR1URUCLahsKSSmSbC1hhu1Zaqr56QlAzIk3yJoY2AlbpVP1_gejR970srtqL8AaDdawiz_Y4UlMA/s1600-h/DSCF0457.JPG">
define.FREEDOM
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
you set me free. 11:51 PM
I had fun today. ((: Sure. There were some screwed up moments. And panic attacks. HAHAHA.
But overall I had fun. ((:
1 more day people. Let's put on a good show. ((:
Yeah~!!! Hongyu is coming back soon~!!! Muhahahahhaas. ((: Miss you hell loads. ((: Take care if you get sick. I won't talk to you. HAHA. ((:
I wonder if you'd read. You're not insignificant. ((: And people would really care if you're gone. ((: You left an impact in their lives. Each and every one of them. ((: Best friends. Friends. And everyone. Who comes across you. ((: Becasue you're Martin Shing Yuk Yu. Understand? That I assure you. ((: Promise you. Plus.. Cross my heart to you. ((:
I told Serene My eyes might be filled with tears. But I'd never let it drop. Not in front of everyone at least.
Hi I'm Melody 
I miss him so much luh. ((:
Us all. ((:
TauHuay Choreographer. Dopeshit. HUGS**
For the random supports. ((: Encouraging smses. Thank you.
His dummy reactions fails to make me laugh too. ((: HAHA. ((:
My 1st friend in Tp. Omg. Dope.
Ko night partner. Dope girl. Loves her to bits. ((:
This dear. Always reassures me. ((: Hugs* thanks girl.
