rules.of.FREEDOM

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rules
rules
rules
rules
rules

soul.set.free

Hi I'm Melody
18 this year, coming 19. ((:
I'm a Virgo. ((:
I'm born on 4th September
And I wanna be a vet
Birthstone Sapphire. ((:
And morning glory.

speak.your.FREEDOM

I love to express myself. I love dancing.
I love singing. I love animals.
I love modeling. I love reading!
I love French people. I love the language Spanish
I love my piano. I love my 200 dollars racket.
I love my crazy family. I love my dearest friends.
I love him, Jesus. I love witting love poems.
I love the warmth in making people smile.
I love people who love me. HAHA.
I love people who are true to their hearts.

join.the.FREED

free one
free two
free three
free four
free five
free six
free seven
free eight
free nine
free ten

express.FREEDOM

three years of sad confinement
my life is finally falling into alignment
i run out of the cage to greet the sun
and to my new home i will run
fall to the soft grass and heck care to the world
this long awaited life will unfurl
close my eyes and smile so deeply
with the wind blowing so swiftly
a gentle feeling;
yet such twist
the scent of freedom
it does exist...

unfreed.PAST

March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009

freedom.SONG

credits: playlist.com

thanks.for.FREE

designer
blogskins
deviantart.com
adobe photoshop imageready

yeahhhss!! dinner is done!! weet!! full 5 course dinner!!

our candle holder dman cute right? =D

smiles*
hope daddy and mummy enjoyed it.
hahahas. =D
love you guys to bits!!

=D chealt is hereeee!!! hahhahas.
yeahhss!!
can't wait for tml..

define.FREEDOM

i wanna dance.
just that i dun have time for it.
i'm honestly dying to. =( sighs.
it's been so so long. =( sighs.

what makes a good dancer?
besides groove. remembering of steps. on beat.
confidence? and.. attitude.. and.. display of emotions.
and?? ... can someone help me?
seem to be lacking something..
hahas. when i look at myself.
compared to.. i dunnoe. other good dancers?
what i lack is attitude.
got confidence. and very little attitude.
dun have that qian da face. hahas.
next time i should just put all my emotion in
and stomp a hole in the ground.

okk. enough of reflection.
hahas. yeahhhsss!! chealt coming soon people!!!
hahahahs. like happy!! can? hahas.
i can't wait!! huggiee**
like finally. just us. no parents. =D
hahahas.
all the vodka in the world.
muahahhahas!! =D

guys. esp may.
i never did blame you for it.
it's no one's fault that such a thingy happened.
i give my promise to you guys
that i love you all the same.
no matter what shit happens.
we'd be in it together.
as one.
ya?
muacks. no worries.

=D darlinggg kunnn~~~~
hahas. baby chan loves you.
hahas. we got loads of weird names.
what else oh ya. i'm neh neh. you're ji ji.
hahahahhas. i'd be better.
=D i promise. hahaas.
thatnks for staying up yesterday.
meter.. back to zero. huggiess**

making candle light dinner for mummy and daddy.
like full course.
salad. soup. steak with potatos and beans as side dish. and desert!! and fruits.
ehh.. very big portion. hahas.
make up. for their spoilt day. =D

define.FREEDOM

hmmmss. stuff that you do.. to show appreication and stuff.
sighs. does get numb over time right?
like too much sweet smses. or.. too much letters.
or too much sending homes.
hmmmss. oh wells. somehow won mean as much as before anymore.
i forgot about sneding home, you forgot about the smses.
hmmmmsss.. guess it's just human.
can we set our meter back to zero again?
=(

hahas. dun bother. just jibberish.
=D hahas. just emo-ing i guess.
zzz..
home really is boring. sighs.

ahhh~~~
tears flowing down.
mummy fianlly talk to me.
='( we haven talk about the matter
but.. she's frogiven me.
sighs sometimes i think i'm an idiot.
i dun deserve to be forgiven.
all i ever brought baout is heartache to them.
2as 2b plus 1f isn excatly a happy thing either.

sorry from now on. is my family 2nd on my priority list.
really, cause i owe them more than i could ever did.
sighs. like erm. 40 bucks set aside to cab home after vocals.
.. and.. phone's off at 12.
and get home on time.
and be bed by 1am.
weekends night with family.
sighs. i'd never never take them for granted again.
yups. doesn't mean they are nice means i should push the limits.

and i'm sorry to shingchun, xinyi, liang hao and ee hong,
i really couldn be there.
i needed to settle this.
hope you gusy understand.
and yeahhhss. chealt's cominggg!!! hahahas. =D
looking forward to it guys.
every min of it. =D



define.FREEDOM

sighhs. like major screw up can? =(


like.. sighs. i dunnoe what to say. ...
we wanted to make a surprise for fion's birthday.
the thing is.. we used red paint.
made a huge huge mess outside.
... nearly got charged for.. vandalism.
wtf. ... should have used brains right?
what were we thinking? what were we ALL thinking?
desperate.. lack of time preassure. whatever.
mummy and daddy. had to clear up the mess.
we got into. if not we'd be at the police station now.
... he had to pay the person. some bribary thingy.
i think it was 300 bucks?


the person. snapped bloody photos.
... how did she get it i dunnoe.
and she twisted the bloody story
and.. said we were perfroming some ritaul cult witchcraft thingy.
WTF. hello?? we were carrying cake. took photos.
the ped painted stones clearly spelt HPY BDE.
and we were singing birthday song.
she claimed we drew a six sided star. ...
... and candles. erm. ritual with birthday candles. ...
screw her la. i mean i hate ppl who twist stories.
true. it's our fault for the paint.
but the cult thingy?
CULT? ... wtf.
hey. really. we'd have been dead.
martin, fion could have been charged in court.
and we could have been sentanced.
it;s not a small matter la.

we spoiled their aniversary people.
friday was their aniversary.
they had to clean up the mess.
get us out of this shit.
and they fought because of us.
sighs.
i hope all of us. or at least some
can come together again.
and make it up to them.


sighs.
i'm aching. i'm dying to dance and sing.
i wanna go so so much man.
so so much..
sighs. but if i go. my parents were probably disown me.
... my parents refuse to talk to me.
i dun blame them.
really its my fault.
i should have stopped them.


"girl.. if it you were to do it in my house,
i'd cane you..."
... public leh?

... i need your help.
please?

define.FREEDOM

~1st you know.
~den you wish.
~den it disappears altogether.
zzz...




great why am i up at this insane hour.
i cant sleep.
currently talking to bryant. lols.
and darling online.
hahhas.

practiced like shit.
now my diaphragm hurts like mad.
hahahas. =D
whenever i breathe. lols.
all the nings. all the las. all the has. and mari mums. lols.

i think.. i like it better than dancing. =(
bad bad. i wanna love dance more.
hahas. =D zzz...

define.FREEDOM

dependance kind of sucks at times.
hahas. ahh screw it.
i know what i must do.
it'll hurt me like mad again. hahas.
but i gotta pull away.

hmmmssss.. sorry honey.
huggie*
i'm sorry.

hmmmsss.. =D
went vocals.
it was hahahas. quite fun!!
Jae's voice is dman nice. freaking cool guy.
I think he got tired of encouraging me.
cause i just wouldn't open up.

hahas. but in the end did it la. hahhahas.
yeahssss!!!

darling came down eat with us today!! hee hee.
xinyi and us. seems ok.

sighs. i dunnoe what else to type.

define.FREEDOM

like recently no photos. sorry. =(

darling came overrrrr!!
awwww... so sweet. =D =D
love the way you hold me in your arms sweetheart.
and.. the the look that says.. you're everything to me..

you're so full of confidence today my love.
=D and you really look good.
hug hug*
i just want you and the whole world to know..
you're the best boyfriend i ever found. and ever will find.
and..
if i had the chance to redo all again.
i wouldn change a thing.
cause each moment with you has totally been heaven.
HUG***

you said i'm your angel send from above.
i'm telling you.
you are my gift from God.
and.. my one's true happiness.



define.FREEDOM

wah. i tell you. the itudou thing is damn.. mean. =(
it screws up on me.
hate it man. hahas.
like hello. can u work? =(


hmmmmssssss...
yeahs. sorry no pics yet!!
hahahhahas. like late.
whizzed down in cabbie!!!
phantos loves~~~


like thought i couldn fit in.
but hmmmsss.. like ok leh.
OTC refresh peopleeeee!!! haha.
like chris rolled his eyes at me.
i swear. i'd poke his eyes if not for the fact he's my in charge.

HAHAHHAS, mass GL cheer 10 min cheer.
woooowww. good job guys.
now we're gonna die..
=D

Darling.. msg me yest..
i haven been a really sweeet hubby for the past year.
but i;d learn to be that kind of bf along the way.
love you baby chan

how should i react? =D heeeeeeeee.
*grins* thank you darling kun.
you really really brighten up my life.
can;t live without you.

=D long day. turning in early.
photos will be uploaded soon!!!

define.FREEDOM

likeeee.. family lovesss~~

macham got ghost. so quiet

me and bro =D lovesss~~

daddy: i look good without my glasses. LOL. =D

=D

hee. whats with that expession. lol.

iman's flying off to aussie.
hey buddy. i;m sorry i can't send you off.
the rest will be there though. =)
have a safe trip!!!
love and misses you loadss!!
lastly!! have fun!!

darling and i are the sweetest couple now.
=D ever. love you to bits.

Grrrr.. hey xinyi and guys.
HAHA. xinyi and guys. so unfair.
i miss you guys loads.
let's meet up soon okkk??
MUACKSSS!! =D

my relationship with him has finally started.
finally, i have this courage. and faith.
to take this step which i've been wanting to take since forever.
finally can commit. and believe with all my heart.
that he truely exists.
love you. thanks for everything.
brining me up. to who i am today. =D
watching over me too.

define.FREEDOM

smiles. church. pretty place.
i cried. =( like always.
cause each time i say i'd commit.
but i end up not doing so. =(
my parents? and partly because.
i do not really believe what i can't see.

but then again, it's faith right?

=D yeahs. meaningful prefromance by cityharvest.
enjoyed it throughly. hee hee.
thanks yong. thanks darling. =D

yawnsss*

define.FREEDOM

like new pictures of the ring. =)

like how does she know.
omg. that song rocks la!!!

Giselle:It's not enough to take the one you love for granted
You must remind her, or she'll be inclined to say...
"How do I know he loves me?"
(How does she know that you love her? How do you show her you love her?)
"How do I know he's mine?"
(How does she know that you really, really, truely love her?)

Well does he leave a little note to tell you you are on his mind?
Send you yellow flowers when the sky is grey? Heyy!
He'll find a new way to show you, a little bit everyday
That's how you know, that's how you know!
He's your love...

Man: You've got to show her you need her
Don't treat her like a mind reader
Each day do something to need her
To believe you love her

Giselle:Everybody wants to live happily ever after
Everybody wants to know their true love is true...
How do you know he loves you?
(How does she know that you love her? How do you show her you need her?)
How do you know he's yours?
(How does she know that you really, really, truely-)

Well does he take you out dancin' just so he can hold you close?
Dedicate a song with words in
Just for you? Ohhh!

All:He'll find his own way to tell you
With the little things he'll do
That's how you know That's how you know!
He's your love...

Because he'll wear your favorite color
Just so he can match your eyes
Rent a private picnic
By the fires glow-oohh!

His heart will be yours forever
Something everyday will show
That's how you know (That's how you know)
He's your love...

AHHHHHHH.. rocks la. =)

and daling kun.. never say that you're lousy.
cause.. sweetie.
it hurts me. =(
to me.. you're still the best boyfriend ever.
best one i've found and best that i'll ever find.
that i;m very sure of.
huggies.
again. my pride's killing me
but.. should tell you that..
i'm proud to have a hubby like you.
muacks. very proud.
cause you're nice, smart, cute..
and everything i can ask for. =D

define.FREEDOM

am i being too much?
to ask for a thanks.
or.. for u to care about my needs?

define.FREEDOM

wish you'd know.
but i'm real tired of fighting already.
so... scratch that.
i'd just take whatever shit thats thrown to me.
you want this. i'd just give.
you dun't want this.
it's fine by me.

whatever.

i dun't really wanna be the one whom you see and feel urgh again.. because of all these nonsense.
so i'd be more than willing to swallow the pain whole.
i wanna be the one whom you are dman dman happy to see.
so.. i'd let this go..
let this horrible pain go..
unknown to you..

define.FREEDOM

can i dun't so silly-ly. and subconciously.
give him eveyrthing he wants again?
i go through heart breaking processes.
through.. self demorlising and depression states.
to suit his needs. =(

sighs.
and.. in suiting his needs.
i accidentally hurt him
and i am doing something to make up for it.
by staying up and do something for him.

and even in breaking up.
you wanna continue. i continue with you.
you wanna break. i;d leave you alone.
even though. i;m pretty much dying here.

such major decisions. =(

god if this is not giving up. then tell me honey.
what is?
sighs.
it's pain.
why the hell am i doing this?
why?
WHY?
and no word of thanks. till i acutally asked for it.

just realise. i could.. i really could. trun around. and walk away
but i didn,
cause.. 1 reason. i love you.
and.. i wish.. you'd think and try to suit my needs as much as i am doing for urs.
by you saying that you would do it.
i am already happy enough.
ask what i want..
think of what i want.
takes two hands to clap honey.
i cant do it alone.

i cant be doing all the major adaptions alone.
i'd die. really. =(
you can see. it;s already killing half of who i am already.

define.FREEDOM

hahas. there's tons of things. i feel like bitching about today.
like damn damn lot.
like.. a lot. =(

hmmmsss... come again.
as long as he's happy.
i would be too right?
so scratch that.

talked to iman.
iman: what is relationship?

*pauses for very long* *blank*
mel: it's commitment. understanding of each other's needs. compraimising. and.. making him happy. and in turn find joy in doing so. selfless.

i know what i must do.
i;m finding my way back to you again. =D

define.FREEDOM

no one's at fault in the relationship..
hmmmsss. hahas. got it!!!
=) after this week. i'm committing more to darling.
i promise. =D heee.
sorry =(
but takes 2 hands to clap. =)
with you ignoring my messages. doesn't really help.
esp the ones that said i need you.
lols. =)
i think it's more skewed to my fault though.
somehow. hahas. =(
because i'd said i'd give in my all.
but i admit. i'm not doing it.
ahhhh... i'd do something abt it!!
a surprise!! tee hee. =D
i love you a lot~~
i'm sorry if i'm not showing it as much anymore.
i guess you said. got own life to lead.
but i'd do something abt it..
still adjusting. =)
sorry.

anyways, moving on now..

hmmmmssss...
yeahhhhsss!! went out with xinyi they all again.
hee hee. =D like happpyyyy.. =D
got our ring. like finally we've been talking abt doing it since forever.
hahhhas.

i swear. my labtop has a virus somewhere.
thank god for blogger's auto save.
it like POOOOFF. den morzilla closed. lol.


ok damn blur. dun care. hahahas.
eh, sc, mel, jo, jae.
all our names are there.
i hope it stays that way forever. really.
i love you guys. =D

and to all my other friends. =D
it;s not a dun care ya? i'm sorry.
i'd balance out. just give me more time. =D

they stayed over for movie marathon!!
like ahhhhh~~
you guys are killing my pocket.
1st.. hahahs. dinner at some fancy place.
2nd.. desert at some other fancy place.
3rd.. buy movies to watch at my place.
T.T omg.

but loves you guys still.
hahhahas. like 80 bucks down the drain yest. hahahas.
=D but it's worth it. =D

like tml.
yong and.. trashing out session.
prays that all goes well.

define.FREEDOM

i.. won be so dependant on you.
i so swear..
sighs.
my pride is killing me.
it;s just do hard not to need you..
after not seeing you for so darn long.

i really dun feel needed.
sighs.
i need something to do.
something ton concentrate on.
some diversion thing.

dance is only few times a week now.
sighs.
i think i should take up vocals.
will kill the time i have left.
seriously. but xinyi says..
wait till schedule is out.

nah~ i'll try to convince her the other way round.
sighs.
i really dun wanna be independant.
i need someone.
not all. but most of the time.

and i need someone.
who shows. that he can't do without me too.
who is strong. able to really take care of me.
Like really freaking take care
show that i'm special. that he can't do without me.
constantly reassure me. cause. somehow. i'm a dman insecure person.
but able to laugh and joke about himself too.
and open abt his problems as well.
hah. not easy.

=)
i'd stop demanding.
and give more.
letters. and pressies!! out of the blue.
more original ideas needed.
looks like i'm a virgo afterall.
expect perfection out of everything~~
lols. =D i'd drop this habit.
really. i would. =D

i need more pictures on my blog.

define.FREEDOM

likeee... shopping~!!!!!
heeee. xinyi and I went to bugis street. her mass shopping.
hahahhas. isn mass shopping at all.
like she just bought 2 things.
hahahhhahas.
wow girl..!!! hahahahs.
a lot huh?

went out with darling after that.
he was late. with a good reason..
so cant say much. hahahas.
watch step up 2 again
WHOOOOO~~
the dance is dopeeeeeeeee..
really dope.
wish i can dance like them.
pray and wish
and work hard. hee hee.
like wooooo!! Ahhhhhh~

i know. and trust you on the decision that i made
you had guided me through it.
and this would be the best for me.
no more acca.
Tp loves~
dance loves~
friends loves~
darling loves~

I'm staying. =D

i'd grow up.
learn how to balance everything.
dance, friends, him, vocals, studies, family.
i'd learn.

define.FREEDOM

yeahs!!!
back from cruise!!! hahahahs.
I won't say it's fun. but it's tiring. lols.

photos!!!! hahahhas. =D

=D

~bleeding love~
i love you with all my heart.
thanks for staying with me last night. =D
muacks.
really appreciate it. huggies*
i'm sorry for all the fights we had.
the pain kills me.
each day. i beg for it to stop.
that you'd return, soon enough before i'm gone.


but it'll never happen again.
cause.. i'd get it back.
that having you is already more than i can ask for.
huggies*


but never take me for granted.
that's all i ask.
treat me as nice as you do now.
that's all i want.
and love me as much as you do now
cause.. that's all i need.




Xinyi, shingchun, lianghao, and eehong.
i miss you guys.
a lot.




I wish God will guide me
through the decisions that i've yet to make.
Please be here for me.
I need you. =(
ACCA or stay?

define.FREEDOM

do you know how much it's killing me?

define.FREEDOM

dun dash my hopes..
if you dun want i won force you.
if i'm not worth the wait.
it's ok..
i dun care..
cause it hurts to care.

i cried.
when.. i was out.. shopping with bryant.
all the sweet memories with you.
seem so far away now.

i cried..
when you told me you were not coming..
casue i was so darn happy.
when you said u were..

it pians me. it kills me. little by little.
part of me doesn wanna care anymore.
part of me still does.
but each time i care,
the pain comes back.

what can i do? =(

define.FREEDOM

yeahs!!! it's up!! it's up!! hahahhas. =D finally!! thanks to byrant!!! heeee. thanks so much buddy. hee hee. =D

retarded 1st post. =( sorry. they needed a post to edit the blog. heee.


hee. went out today with bryant!! watched movieeesss!!! =D like.. wow step up 2. DOPE. hahas. and horton which is kind od fat and rearded. hahas. so him. =X. hahas. like..

hahas. seeeee...

what can i say bro? it's just you. hahhas. =D
yeahs!!! happy today!! like real happy. =D hahas. had loads of fun. =D

like like.. shingchun.. xinyi.. lianghaoo.. ee hong..
I CANT WAIT FOR THE CHEALT!!! hahahas.
AHHHHHHHHHHH...
I miss you guys alreadyyyy.. hahahs.
muacks. love you guys loads.

and to my favourite beloved darling. i'm sorry i cant see you perform. really pains me that i have to skip it. really. =( but darling. give it your best shot. and darling. though i'm not there. I SHALL SHOUT OUT HERE.. I WANT EVERY EVERY ONE TO KNOW THAT.. i am.. extremely proud of you.. really. very proud. you have my full surport.
proud that..
it's my darling up there..
you are part of the damn dope dancers..
that you didn wanna give up like previously..

so darling.. jia you. alright?
i say.. i feel detached from you. i feel like i dun know you. i feel single.
but.. darling;s still my darling.
so...

JIA YOU!! huggie* =)

silly. tears are welling up as i write all these. =( sighs.
it's really been so long.

define.FREEDOM

testing... testing.. hahas.. =D

define.FREEDOM

meeting shing chun and liang hao like seems to be a routine now.
dinner thingys. hanging out.
thank you shing chun. he's been there through my darkest moments. seriously i got a lot to tahnk him for.

he comforted me..
honestly i feel extremely safe
he was there when i was alone. and afraid.
hey bro, i hopw everything works out for you,
cause.. no one deserves the best other than you (and martin)
ok? anything. i;m here,

and to bryant too. thanks bro.
really.
you were really really great help and comfort.
I can't thank you more than enough for.. having eye bags (again HAHA)
i hope you'd stand up soon ya?
be a man ok? hahahas. lol.
yeahsss.. =)
i'm looking forward to see you in tp next year buddy!!

Xinyi & me are gonna take up vocals. hee.
yeahs!! together..
i love you babe..

to each and everyone of you..
may fion yanti amelia james iman and somehow.. kevin.
i miss you. all of you.
i love you with my life.

define.FREEDOM