rules.of.FREEDOM

http://www.URLofBLOG.blogspot.com

rules
rules
rules
rules
rules

soul.set.free

Hi I'm Melody
18 this year, coming 19. ((:
I'm a Virgo. ((:
I'm born on 4th September
And I wanna be a vet
Birthstone Sapphire. ((:
And morning glory.

speak.your.FREEDOM

I love to express myself. I love dancing.
I love singing. I love animals.
I love modeling. I love reading!
I love French people. I love the language Spanish
I love my piano. I love my 200 dollars racket.
I love my crazy family. I love my dearest friends.
I love him, Jesus. I love witting love poems.
I love the warmth in making people smile.
I love people who love me. HAHA.
I love people who are true to their hearts.

join.the.FREED

free one
free two
free three
free four
free five
free six
free seven
free eight
free nine
free ten

express.FREEDOM

three years of sad confinement
my life is finally falling into alignment
i run out of the cage to greet the sun
and to my new home i will run
fall to the soft grass and heck care to the world
this long awaited life will unfurl
close my eyes and smile so deeply
with the wind blowing so swiftly
a gentle feeling;
yet such twist
the scent of freedom
it does exist...

unfreed.PAST

March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009

freedom.SONG

credits: playlist.com

thanks.for.FREE

designer
blogskins
deviantart.com
adobe photoshop imageready

sighhhss.
some idiot scolded me on his blog.
like.. hello why cant you undersatnd.
he wants to let you go for your happiness.
... den i was like hello. why cnat you understand.
which part of my face says i'm happy?
as a matter of fact.. him happy?
the crying everyday part??
i dun mind waiting. in fact i'm happy to. cause i love him.
cause i can see this is so killing him? and me?
so bloody hell. what for?

... sighs. whatever man.
i dun know i'm very confused now.
like if love is really letting him go.
den... I might have really really lost my true love.
which both parties are so bloody unwilling to can.
how silly is that?
i dun really believe in fate.
if you want it. go get it see.
it's not like. ohh let him goo.
if you guys are menat to be for each other you will be. =.=
so classic.
i'm supposed to make a decision.
i dun know. i really dun know.
mummy says i should go for it.
like really go for it.

i'm so confused.
cause honestly?
i see his point too. i see both.
i dun know if staying with him would make him suffer.
but he's so not ok now. ...
so i dun know if i should stay.
tml's audition. with this thingy.
really isn't helping.

define.FREEDOM

honestly. i can't get distracted.
my confidence can't go down.
I feel it dropping. sighs.
i got a dance audition to work for.
this saturday.
if becasue of this i can't get in.
i'd never forgive myself.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
stupid stupid stupid stupid..

URGH.
Sighs. Sucks.
I screwed up the chero yest.
hahas. cause i heard it was on sat.
and i stressed up the whole day.
HAHA. stupid.
and i know there's a bloody good locker beside me.
from NYP i think.
taking part in KO night too.

T.T
suddenly. i just hate me life.
my labtop spoil. my hp spoil.
my relationship chui.
my dance also chui.
what else can happen?

define.FREEDOM

hmmsss.. sucks.
attachemnt or love?
honestly whatever it is.
he's freaking asking me to move on.
and i dun wanna hang between single and attached.
honestly i wanna stay. i dun't he's not letting me.

sighs. i put our 2 teddy bear children (marjing and huitin) away today
along with the bouqet of bears. and the ring.
and in fact.. everything else.
into the cupboard the next room.
hurts like fuck la.

hurts like shit.
honestly i really dun't think it needs to end this way.
it's so stupid. 1 year and a half before he goes.
... we can break then or what la.
if he really wants me to go on a normal life.

sighhss. ahhh~~
whatever. 2 people that got together is a blessing.
shouldn be broken off just like that.
this is stupid. cause. we didn even try.
like me giving up on dance auditions.
you were the one who always ask me nbot to give up.

URGHH. whatever doesn really make a diff now does it?
screw it man.

define.FREEDOM

everything fell apart.
piece by piece.

can't stop crying.
1st time in my life.. I feel like cutting too.
To see it slowly slipping away from us.
It's really killing.

sometimes.
i really doubt him.
his exsistence.
Sighs. why isn't he helping?

define.FREEDOM

cant be bothered calling.
casue you won pick up. wanna ask him if he's going church tml.
... hahas. pissinggg me offff.

nvmm.. hahahhas. =DD
I realise.. the longer i stay single. the more i wish for it to be that way.
BAD. damn BAD.
miss the freedom and all.
miss my own space. own time. with friends. or with whoever.
I have a promise.. darn it. I intend to keep it and I will.
hahas.

I realise.. hmmss.. can.. in a way. do without him.
ouch. =(( but.. i can do without him doesn mean i dun love him.
so ya.. i'm going back.
freedom can give up. promise is a no no man. =((

hahas. =DD lols
went dance!!!! ahhh~~~
had so so much fun can?? hahhhas. =D
Daniel seemed impressed. =))
HAS. i think i thinking too much. HAHAS.
but the last time i went i really screwed the chero upside down.
yeahhh~~ big big improvement. =DD

den spent time with my family.
went spaa!! again!! hahahas. =DD
massage was. AHHH~~ omgggg.. hahahhas.
and watched forbidden kingdom. =))
and ate hell lot of food.
hahahhas. =DD
and hell lot of chocolate.. =DD

=)) miss you guys. loads loads loads!!!
=D shing chun xinyi lianghao and ee hong.=D

he is still not picking up.
... i dun care anymore.

she loves.
her family!!
her dance!!
her friends!!
him =))
her vocals!! =DD

=DDDDDDDDDDDDD i'm really happy. =D

define.FREEDOM

read his blog. pain you know.. =((
cried like someone died again.
sighs. why are my tears so easy flowing.
my eyes are all puffy. =((

anyways.
cycling trip's been cancelled.
apparently. i have a headache.
and shing chuns not free.

so now just rotting at home.
waiting for time to pass.
so that i can go dance. yupp.

define.FREEDOM

tonight.. I had the most amazing night with darling.
He was perfect. In every every way.
hahas. though he did screw up. =)
but hon.. it's ok. really. =)
i love every every thing you did for me.
it's really damn darn sweet of you.
and i could never never ask for a more thoughtful, sweet, and caring darling like you.
trust me when i say this..
you're still the best.
and you're still the one and only for me.

sighs. sorry honey. my computer's being an ass.
can't upload the picture. =((

but it's also tonight.
or rather last night.
that i realise it takes more than just love to make things work.
yup. we keep fighting these few days.
everytime we meet in fact. lols.
ha. even today we fought. lols.
and it's pain.
the differences between us are really too much.
i won go into the details.
but let's just say. if i continue.
there really some major adaptions that i have to do.. that will hurt me.
so that. we'd actually stop fighting and really get along.
if i dun continue. i'd have to give you up.
which ultimately would hurt me too.

whenever we have a mojor arguement.
it's always always always about this.
can we really really overcome our major differences and work things out?

i just want you to know.
that whatever i decide.
know that it's not because i dun't love you.
it's because. i dun't think i can make that change for you yet. stressed on yet.
it's really big. very big change.
a change i dun't even want you to make for me.
cause it's too darn big.
it'll hurt you damn lot.
i'd still continue to love you with my heart and soul.
and i promise i;d still be in your life no matter what. =))

define.FREEDOM

i dun know.
if the decision i made tonight will cause me to regret.
i really dun know..

but one thing i know.
i need a break from us.

i'm sorry.

define.FREEDOM

I just wanna take your du du brain
and urgggghhhh..
sighs. forget it.
you'll never understand.

enough fighting.
i'm just gonna hold.

gonna keep a seperate diary.
loads of stuff..

define.FREEDOM

hmmmmmss..
CUI. hahahahahhas. =D
day dreaming la..
what if darling is here?
HAHAS. lols.
What the hell.
hahas.
but caught everything in the end. smiles*

darling and i haven really talked for 3 nights straight. =))
but surprisingly. i'm fine.
DUN LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.
DARN IT. i'm just very used to hearing his voice everynight before i sleep.
he's sickk. ... hahas.
and busy with his dance.
=DD i'd survive. =DD
... i think he's pissed at me now.
hmmmsss.. dun know la. hahas.
later den settle.
lols. i guess part of me misses singlehood. hahas.
the.. urgh i can do whatever i want thingy.
who cares..
cause.. i'm darn single. Hahahahs.
But more of me.
still craves for ur.. care concern attention.
=DD so ya. no worries.

Iman is ridiculous.
hahahhas. i mean. wth.
he suddenly called me ask if i wanna go out.
so nicely. go la. go la. ... hahas.
I say i cant i got plans.
he got pissed and hanged up on me.
talk abt attitude dude.
lols. dumb ass.

yeahhhhsss..
looking forward to cycling with you guys.
love you all to bits. =DD

define.FREEDOM

i'm so sorry guys.
if it's any other day..
i really really would have went.
but i promised myself.
=(( i'm sorry.
i'd really really hate myself if i backed out today.

happy one year guys!!
yeahhh!! hahas. so fast. =D
love you all to bits.
that i can promise. =D
you guys are still in my heart.
always and forever.
huggieess**

define.FREEDOM

Hahahahhas. =D
I was minding my own business, eating with me family.
and guess who sat directly oppo me?
caile. and his family.
LOLS.
Darn him.
and that darn guy. somehow couldn stop laughing while eating.
... which made me really self concious.
and not to mention.. make him look really retarded. hahas.

sorry xinyi. and yes he's as cute as ever man.
lols. =D
even mummy said so can?
... mummy. hahas.
hahahhas.
nth to say.
headed down to tm.
to shop!!!
hahas.
window shopp =((

lols. realised i got new company at night too!!
hahas. my psp. =D
in that way.. won miss him that badly at night. =D

plans tml..
~ catch up on sleep.
~ dance.
darn in i better not lose my way again...

plans on tuesday..
~ out with darlinggg..
~ =D =D

plans on wednesday..
~ cyclingg with xinyi shing chun liang hao..
~ danceee..
ehhhh... where's ee hong? lols. oppss..

plans on thursday.. =D
~ vocals??
~ maybe bryant.

Oh.. forgot to mention.
my bro went to camp. =((
miss him. =((
no one else to bully at home.
HA. jokinnn.

plans on sat..
~ dance.
~ family. =DD

Hey.. I'm missing you guys loads.
let's meet up soon ok?? =D
heee. =D

define.FREEDOM

i relaise. when i think abt it.
tears will still fall.

sighs.

define.FREEDOM

No.
I'm not giving up.
I'm just pissed.

define.FREEDOM

pardon my language.
but fuck. fuck man.
I went all the way to city hall to circle around finding the school.
with watter-logged pants and shirt (cuase it's bloody raining)
and darn stomach cramps, squating in the middle of nowhere.
and when i finally found it.
it's only a 10 min walk.
Fuck. By that time. I felt like i just ran 2.4..
when i haven even do no fucking crap.
and worst part..
I missed lesson. darn.
I missed lesson. Yes, damn cui me missed lesson.
You know how much i wanted to go?
How i'm craving for it? Fuck it la.

Smart Melody. Just sooo darn Smart..
Why is my sense of direction so cui?
Darn it. Always like that.
Always always getting lost..
Freaking waste of time la.
This is the 1st time i'm actually really really really looking forward to it too.
Sighs. Can't I do anything right?
Why the hell am I like that?

sometimes. I really hate myself to the max.
I'm so tired and unsatisfied.
Just wanna die.

define.FREEDOM

darn. 50 places.
this coming audition. only bloody 50.
sighs. should i even go? =(
but nevertheless,
thanks for the heads up hon.

sighs. =(
majorly screwed. =.=
sighs.

darling gotta go performances again.
sighs..
no time play.
it's ok i guess. =)
cause honestly. i think i'm ok by myself.
as in i'd survive. =)

define.FREEDOM

neh neh~~~
i'm at daling's house nowww... =D
stay overrrr.. lols.
=D heee.
his mummy's birthday...
darling's room smellssss..
HAHAs. opps.
=D =D

love my darling.. a lot.
=D muack. =D

define.FREEDOM

darling's rightt..
nuo yan rocks.
sighs. and it sucks.
brings me back to reality..
I really really dun want you leave for USA.
you know the lonliness having to live each day without you by my side?
Sighs. =(

dun like it.

define.FREEDOM

urgh.
open the door also must scold me.
what's up with you.

moving onnn..

hahas. see i did it.
vocals today!!
=D love it.
love every min of it. =D
thank god the friends there are really friendly. =D

on the way home watch step up 2.
DOPE. soo sooo soo soo dope. urgh.
no word can describe it.
seriously.
love it. love it so darn much.

really love him.
really love xinyi
really love shing chun
really love liang hao
can i dun put ee hong? hahahahs. oppss.
love ee hong. =D
love jesus.
love jae.
really love dance.
really love singing.
lovee.. everything.

i love my life.
to bits.

define.FREEDOM

=D i wanna go big groove workshop laa..
but. its a camp
and theres school.
can i take mcccc??
lols.

define.FREEDOM

grrrrrr... rotting at home. i'm dyinggggg.
=( wanna goo outttt...
oh wellssss.. =(

moving on..

I DYED MY HAIRR..
WEEE.. omg. hahahas. =D
it's brownissshhhh!!
simply love it.
HEE.. =D

=D
hee hee.
I'm blogging it here.
By tml.. i'd go vocals.
Alone.
By next week.
i'm going to dance.
alone or with darling.
gotta learn to be independant.
cause everywhere i go.
i realise i'm always taken care of.

ohh wellss.. =D

define.FREEDOM

lame shit.

OMG OMG..
i relaiseeee.. hahahas.
cheong and i had the same cui dayyy!!!
hahahahhas. my slippers broke too!!
and it rainedddd!!!
OMG.
hahahahhas.
limp for like.. miles tooo!! LOLS.
=D =D =D hahahhhas. LOLS.

damn suay today la!!
seriously.
den cab down. Didn excatly get lost!!! hahahhas.
But JAMMMM..
GRRRRRRRRRRRR.. hahahahs.

i relaise.. yong is damn cheapo.
hahahs. =D

define.FREEDOM

i gave up FO.
thinking i could spend more time with you.
i get it you're trying to help.
but i dun want cause.. it'll be bad for you..
you want cause you dun wanna leave me alone..
we fought.
you accused me.
i shouted.
you refused to talk..

... ermmmxx.. ...
okkkk....
like i wanna give i to you. and you wanna give in to me.
den no one wants to give way.
... hahahs,. quite dumb.

yeaaaaahhhss!!
went with them to eat sushi.
AGAIN..
hahahhahas. lols.
=D next time we should eat others
lols..
love you guys loadssss!!! heeeeeee.

did my hair too. =D yeahs!!
=D

define.FREEDOM

and sighs.
i am worried.
please be ok.
stay strong ya??
we all love you.
huggies*

everything is gonna be ok.
just gotta believe..
=D alright?

define.FREEDOM

and i promise.
i'd be the best girlfriend ever. =D

loves*

define.FREEDOM

chruch is such a wonderous place.
i wish i can go everyweek.
it's so amazing how the pastor can link values from the bible to make companies flurish now.
and give real life examples from the bible and apply it to create great working environment and.
at the same time. teach you how to be a right person.
with right thinking. behaviour and action.
he's awesome.
freaking awesome.
=D wow awesome. =D

today's service was about excellence.
how we should give in. beyond people's expectations.
like how God has given us. =D
AHHH~~ freaking inspiring.
gotta hear him speak.
he's awesome. =D

hahas. =D yeahhsss!!
i'm glad i went. it's at jurong west.
but it's worth it.

and i need to thank yong who came down from yishun and accompany me from tampines to boonlay.
dman nice of him.
thanks. huggies* =D

love my friends.
love him.
love jesus.
love my family. =D

define.FREEDOM

wild wild wet was fun!!
with xinyi and them.
it's like a total neew experience with them!!
hahahas. had loads of fun there!! hahahahs.
yeahhhss!!
next time lets go jurong east!!
together!!!
hahahhhaas. =D yeahhhsss!!

BBQ was a.. sucess. =D
like real sucess. depite the fact some idiots didn pay.
... hahas. ee hong.. isolated himself as usual.
his chealt is to sleep.
lols.

darling. wild wild wet was fun too!!
i mean it's the 1st time we went together. =D
hahahahahas. =D

sighs. i regret not taking pictures. everytime.
must make more effort to preserve memories. =D

when love isn't everything to me.
friends. my friends. i'm losing them.
true it's more in balance. But.. not really there yet.
having to squeeze everything to a 5 day week isn't easy.

next week. bonding with phantos. =D
have to pay attention to may and stuff.
not forgeting xinyi they all.
and my dance and vocals.
family is a weekend thing.
so it's fine.

DIES*
thats a lot.

xinyi they all 2 day.
fion and they all 1 day.
dance sat.
vocals. 2 nights.
2 days darling.
... just nice.

next next week onwards. =D

dying to dance.
aching to move.
craving to feel the beat.
however, i cant do much with a sprained leg ya?
ok. fine i chicken out.
i dun't like going alone.
no encouragement. no help. no nothing.
you die means you die.
can't catch means. confidence down. standing alone wtaching the rest move.
which is dman sad. =(
whcih means. ... die.
dun think i wanna risk that now.
cause. it'll really kill whatever i had built up from last tme.

after camp.
everything shall start after camp.

define.FREEDOM

=D back. no photos again. =(
hahahs. fun.
thank you darling.. for everything.
=D really.
must start giving more back to darling.

true. i give really a lot to him in the beginning.
=D but now.. now's giving in to me a lot back too!!
hmmmss.. ok!! =D get it. hee. huggies*
thankd for everything. love you a lot.

define.FREEDOM

=D i love my darling.
TO BITS. =D
muacks. will never take you for granted honey.
never.

yeahs!! chealt with him today. bring cameraaa!!!!
=D hee hee.

define.FREEDOM

some how.
i'm not looking froward to tml.
sighs.. zzz..

define.FREEDOM

... just move on girl.
be strong and..
just move on..
darn mbs. sighs.
the school advicer. has. didn seem concerned at all man.
i mean. hello. can see these stuff one right?
like from tone.. manner of speech etc.
like urgh.. i'm doing it cause i have to.
and it's for your own bloody fault and for your own good.
so ya. appreciate ME man.
i seemed like a bother.
whatever. i dun need you nuthead.

smiles*
chealt was fun.
hahas.
i dunnoe. wild wild wet.
all the dvds. bbq. hahahhas.
and vodka.. LOLS
got a bit drunk. i think. lols.
like dman high. hahas.
bbq was a success!! hahas.
just that some refused to pay.
damn. suckers..

and thnaks to darling
who travelled to and fro from camp and to stay on the 1st night.
oh wells. zzz.

nth much for now.
shall jus rot.
somewhere.
zzz..

define.FREEDOM